Saturday, June 06, 2009

the biggest denial is that you are past it
that u have come far from it
u have seen it all - been there, done that - and that u wont tocuh that level again
u know how easy it is to go down again
and this time, there will be no coming back again.
no rising, no phoenix.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

life is just a pile of shit .

Sunday, October 28, 2007

~not written by me~
Farewell's are not just the singing song's
farewell is not just partying along
farewell is not just the tearful-good bye
farewell is where the new hopes lie
we are departing bcoz we'll meet again
for the promise unsaid of no loss no gain
hope to see you in all goods, the next time we meet
and to let it happen again,let it get repeat
the 'voice' was distant, the 'doors' unopened
they both met once, the 'echo' happened
be happy always and share your sorrows
for thats the only thing i can borrow
the loveliest, the fantastic and most wonderful indeed
the time with you was fest, the things shared were feasts
this is not a piece of paper, not just of it, u say
here my memories reside - mourning or gay!
the days fly so high and it happens so well
its a priceless possession - too expensive to sell
keep me in remembrance - don't forget .. dont even dare!
for i am labeled with the tag- 'Handle with care'!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

u see, u touch, u enjoy and then u want to enjoy again.this happens because u associate permanence and worthiness with everything around u, which results in desire.as soon as u realize the true nature of things, u get rid of these desires. u continue to feed the flame of ur existence by seeking satisfaction, by seeking desires; the moment u withdraw, its the moment the candle is blown off. this is nirvana which literally means blowing out-end ur existence and that is liberation

Saturday, March 04, 2006

From "oye-bubbly" to "can't be bad-can't be bad"

A lot of time has passed. The magic hasn't changed. Beer's such a thing.The scintillating smell, the refreshing taste, the intoxicating experience, the placid hangover hasn't diminished even one bit. The people, the places, the ambience, missing classes the next day has changed somewhat. People who drink alone frequently or perhaps with two or three friends, usually end up becoming sad drunks. It so happens that when you really know someone quite well, then in the aftermath of the act, the ambience doesn't remain nemore jolly or even pleasant. People are always able to find some or the other stimulus, or can even imagine it to be there, to give the same hackneyed response. The music's either melancholy or agressive, the mood's down and sometimes there are outbursts which ruin the entire situation. Confronting a couple in the middle of a road, threatening to kill a professor on e-mail, proposing on yahoo messenger are examples of such outbursts.
In the initial part, our group was somewhat like this, with me, Mr.P, Mr.K, Mr.J being the active participants. There is something about Mr.P which i have realized over the stretch of time which we have spent together. There are two kinds of guys which one usually encounters in one's life :- 1.The "quality" guys ; 2.The "experience" guys.The former consists of those guys which have some or the other quality which one finds appreciable, be it humour, 'kewlness', sarcasm, speed or whatever.one may even experience guys who have many such traits, and that makes them all the more unique in themselves(prime example Mr.34*2).But there lies a problem.As long as one makes the assumption that one is gonna be alive tomorrow there is a finite probability that one may experience a similar 'quality' person tomorrow or day after that, or anytime in the future. This realization makes these guys 'non-unique for you', although it doesn't depreciate their importance in any possible way.Then in the latter category, come those with whom one has a number of memorable experiences, be it good, bad, ugly, or anything. These are the guys whome you really know(the obvious difficulty of becoming predictable/boring obviously pops up at this stage, but nevertheless the importance of those experiences for one cant be refuted). And the probability of finding such a guy, the next day is obviously very less than the former case considering that college life is almost over and in professional life, such experiences usually carry no or very little value. So all this makes this "experience" guy unique and irreplaceable for anyone. Mr.P is such a guy for me. Infact, i must acknowledge that Mr.P is such a great guy that many others too would put him in this category. I really don't know what Mr.P thinks about this. I will expect a comment from him. So our group was somewhat like this in the initial stages.
Then with the arrival of the tribals from hall-2, the situation/attitude/mood of these parties changed drastically. Mr K had called it quits by then. The impetus in this drastic change was provided by the arrival of Mr.K'. Mr.K and Mr.K' have the same names, and i don't want to say nething like that the prevelant mood was totally dependent on the presence/absence of these two guys, because as one left and the other came, the mood took a u-turn. That would be giving these guys too much credit. It would be great someday to see Mr.K and Mr.K' both participating in one party (wotsay Mr.P). Nehow the mood changed and i must say that it changed before it was 'too late'(a shit phrase, but its usage makes me feel good). Mr.K' is quite a guy, somewhat unforgettable, somewhat admirable, somewhat good player of AK-47 and other obvious stuff. The great thing about this guy was that he was both a "quality" and an "experience" guy, and that makes him all the more unique.Here I would like to throw somewhat light on the general differences in traits of guys from hall-2 and those from hall-3. Hall-3 guys have generally passion flowing in all their veins, even their indifferent manner can at times be misunderstood as haughty. Their idea of fun is at times not applicable to their own lives. Hall-2 guys are more on the casual side, and they now how to have some serious fun. I must state clearly at this point that the above topic is a highly controversial topic that can spur up many a debates and whatever i have written is strictly my personal opinion based on the limited experiences, my limited knowledge of history, and further limited cognitive faculties. So as we(me, Mr.P and Mr.(34*2)) came in contact with these tribals, the alcohol content of our drinks changed from 42.8% v/v to 8-14% v/v and the thing which we discovered was quite a thing as i have stated in the beginning already.(Although this drink was introduced to us by Mr.K himself and i must appreciate the hard work which he put together in convincing us to accept the thing despite our obvious 'uncomfortable-ity' with features like 'bad' taste and 'not that good' after-effect. But as you know, perseverance always pays).
So all this lead to the beginning of the 'oye-bubbly' beer parties at Mr.G's room(great sound system, great CS videos, good collection of songs, accessible to all, etc.). That pepsi-advertisement actually came in those days only, and so we listened to it most of the times. It represented the 'high-fly' zone or something. The mood was usually upbeat, the alcohol content kept varying but it was a trifle more inclined towards the lower side. The "I'm on a high and i wanna fly" stage was represented by dance,ne kind ; appreciation of the dance, ne kind ; loud music,ne kind and other similar stuff.It was definitely better than the earlier situations with " Oh! me " playing on the speakers and two guys in two corners, clutching their bottles, pacifying their souls, and thinking that this was the eternal nirvana. The current situation was better, with acts that provided instantaneous nirvana, and you can again get back to play a game of CS, rather than breaking the handle of your chair, or your door latch or something else. We all enjoyed a lot in each other's company and met great guys like Mr.D and Mr.W and Mr.A.(typical hall-2 guys) and later on Mr.K'' and Mr.A'. These parties went on for quite a while, especially with quality stuff provided by the shop at gate and quality food by Hall-4 canteen. Meanwhile as a repercussion of these parties, a lot of critical situations became unavoidable, and some things took their own route, contrary to my liking ofcourse, but that doesnt diminish the individual "magical experiences" of those nights.
A lot has changed since then. Visit to ground bottom, becoming a phoenix, reconstruction shit and so, life goes on like it has always been. As i took a break, Mr.P found a new companion in Mr.D(this comes with a big colon pee). Mr.D aint a new fellow, he has been there from time immemorial, but this contact was renewed recently. Mr.D is a typical "experience" guy, and discussion on him wud be done separately(wont be fair to this and Mr.D himself). Recently i decided to join these guys in a trip to heaven, and that was quite a bang! The theme, somehow came from the middle of the party :- "can't be bad..can't be bad" (Mekhi Phifer, 8 mile) and it seem really that life cant be that bad really. Dope the night, wake in the mornin, capture your dose of sunshine, and move on.From 'oye bubbly' to 'cant be bad' it's been one long unforgettable journey.

2 things.
1.This is a highly generalized version of the actual events.There might be some deviations, some missing facts, some exaggeration, etc.
2.This is only a recollection of the events as they happened and by no means whatsoever is this an attempt to promote alcoholism.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Id

nobody gives a fuck to heylo
everybody wants to fuck jLo
dude, get a life, this is not what you want
dont be so afraid of these fuckin taunts
the society is a fucked up place to live
survival's difficult, your grey matter's forcing you to kill
why so you so obsessed with that fair-skinned trash
when you know that heaven lies in hand-rolled hash
and this aint no movie, there's no anuj bhargava here
becoz he is busy collecting his piece of trash there
i dont wanna end up with a bullet in my head
leaving the ground behind for someone else to tread
hey joe, hey maria, hey shitfaced mfcs
what you doing here, wasting your precious, go play some fuckin cs
otherwise if your mom catches you reading this shit
you're gonna get into trouble, and you're gonna get hit
i dont want you to die so soon, control your hash, control your booze
superstardom awaits you, control your pace, control your mood
dude, you think you're cool, you are like a fuckin refrigerator
oh i'm worried bout you, becoz in your ass, there's a compressor
and that's gonna bust very soon
and u'r gonna return back pleading for the feeding spoon
granny needs a disc for her broken backbone
i need a disc too, that for my broken heartbone
my id's rising higher
my id's rising higher
my id's rising higher
my id's rising higher
(...chant continues until fade out)

Sunday, February 26, 2006

quench my thirst,
oh yeah,quench it baby
been waiting too long
been expecting this to happen
let the flow begin
breath in me
wont u light my way
wont u be my fairytale
wont u return what i gave u
been a slave for u for so long
now its payback time babe
dont remind me of ur virtues
heard enough of them
its payback time baby
quench my thirst,
oh yeah,quench it baby